He Didn't Know

He didn’t know he was dead.

            He never saw the dull eyes stare back at him in the mirror, or notice the only beat he ever felt in his chest came from the bass line of the music blaring through his headphones.  Emotions never penetrated the surface.  Knowledge stayed suspended in his mind, never reaching the heart.  Oblivious to this, he went about with the mindset he could only live for today- but that wasn’t living.

Every day, he needed more to spark a sensation of feeling.  Nothing satisfied or satiated. He was jaded of thrills, numb.  This process of decay was nothing new.  It began the day he was born.  Outwardly, there was no way to see the damage.  A medical doctor’s examination would have revealed nothing.  But he was dead nevertheless.

            His condition didn’t only affect him.  With absence of feeling came absence of care for anyone but himself.  He wanted love and loyalty, but how could he expect to receive something he couldn’t give? Because of this, his family was in shreds.  Numbness couldn’t protect him from hurt only worsen it.  It only led him to believe everything was fine, when it wasn’t. Love was lust, joy was fleeting, and peace was a figment of imagination.

            He wasn’t alone.  Everyone was dead, which made it hard to see.  His plight went unnoticed amongst the others with him in this graveyard.  His existence spiraled downward, with no meaning, no hope.

Then he met her.

The seat beside her was the only empty spot on the bus.  He didn’t want to talk, but that didn’t stop her.  His response to her questions was little more then a grunt, until he realized she actually cared.  She wasn’t making polite conversation; she honestly wanted to know how he was.  This startled him into saying a few more words, hoping to quench her. 

            He found himself telling her about his day.  She shared about hers.  Then she asked if she could tell him something, something that meant everything to her. 

             She told him about life. 

           It was an everlasting life from a God who made the ultimate sacrifice to give it to her, to bring her from death to life.  She hadn’t earned it, didn’t deserve it, and couldn’t keep the knowledge of it to herself. 

            He could have life.  But something separated him from it.  God is perfect and holy.  They were not.  In their sin, their disobedience and rejection of God, they were filthy, utterly helpless, like a rotting corpse.  They were dead, and they were destined for a physical death that would take them to a place of unimaginable torment.  But God, full of mercy and love, sent His Son to take the punishment for their sin, to free them, to make them alive.  In Christ, he would have the hope of an eternity with God, and a life giving relationship with his Creator.

If he believed this, life would be his.

She had to go, it was her stop. He watched her leave, something rising in his chest as the weight of her words hit him.  If what she said was true, he was in danger.  If what she said was true, he needed help.  He didn’t even know her name.  But she had shown him a spark of light in his darkness.  God made a way to bring him to life.  God reached out - while he was helpless, hopeless and dead. He didn't have to continue this downward path. There was another way. He believed.

             His stop came. He stepped out into the bright sun. He looked around at the faces of people passing by.  Blank faces, dead faces.  He could see it now.  He had been in their place.  They needed to know.  They needed to hear about life. 

            He could do what she did.  He could share the message.  He wanted to thank her, but he didn't know if he would ever see her again.

He did know this- he wasn’t dead anymore.  He was alive.

by Bethany Canaan

Beautiful People || March Edition || Becca's Characters

Hey!

Let's just skip the whole yes-it's-been-far-too-long-so-sorry and get into this. 

Cause I gotta go babysit soon.

Ok, honestly, I haven't been writing lately..... like at all. 

Sorry.

Here you get to meet another character from In The Present Age.

I've been thinking about this story a lot, it's kind of in the crockpot of my mind. I first thought of it.... about 4 years ago. I will write this thing, someday, when I have more life experience and time.... like when I'm 83.

When I Look at the Stars

The heavens are telling of the glory of God; 

And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.

Psalm 19:1

I'm sure you fellow writers know the joy of finding a song that seems to fit a character of your's perfectly.

You think of them the moment you hear the song, and maybe it even lends another depth and dimension of your character you hadn't thought of before, but it is still so completely who they are.

And maybe you've thought, "Why couldn't I have written that song?"

Or maybe it's just me. :)

Beautiful People || September Edition || Bethany's characters

I've shared a few novels in progress before, mainly "Long Road from Canaan", and "Regrettably a Gentleman", that seem to disappear, never to be heard from again.

(Just so you know, they might pop up again, after some major replotting and such)

But, I'm feeling pretty excited about "Mithras & Myrrh", as I'm about 57,000* words into my first draft, and still writing steadily onward!!!

Beautiful People || July edition || Bethany's Character

Who to do, who to do?

(I sound like an owl)

You're welcome

Rufus Ignatus would be fun...

Quintus, stop glaring at me.

Or Domnius, or Marcellus...

Beautiful People || July Edition || Becca's Character

Hello there! It's been a while since I've posted... did you miss me? :) 

One of the reasons why my posting has been... well, non-exsitant in the last few months is because I have a job now! ( Jobs are cool ) Yet quite time consuming and often exhausting. 

Also life in general has been a tad of a rollercoaster and a lot of things have fallen to the side... blogging being one of them. 

Let's pick it up and get on with it then shall we?

Along with Felix Tovar, and Rory Sonders, another character found in my WIP "In the Present Age" is Gilead Hart.

Beautiful People || June Edition || Bethany's Characters

For this month's Beautiful People post, I'll be digging into the childhood of Porcia, the daughter in the household my MC Milo belongs to.

She actually won't be keeping the name Porcia, because after a little more research into Roman names, I found daughters' names were usually derivatives of their family name. That would make her name Cassia, which I like too, especially since Porcia is actually derived the word for pig. :) I didn't know that when I originally named her.

But as I'm only about half way through the first draft, she'll keep Porcia for now so it won't be confusing.

1)What is their first childhood memory?
One of her clearest early memories is of a time her father brought a pet quail home from his travels, and it would follow Porcia about the garden.

2)What were their best and worst childhood experiences?
Hmm, her first four years of life were a pretty good experience, until the birth of her little brother Junius. He cried constantly, and took all of Mother and Nurse's attention, leaving Porcia rather lonely. But Milo, who would have been about 12 at the time, would be around to cheer her up.

3)What was their childhood home like?
She and her family still live in her childhood home in the city of Salonae. It's not a mansion, but it's a fairly large home with an open atrium, garden/courtyard, and an upper level where the family bedrooms are. Her father often had guests over for business deals, and sometimes he would ask Porcia to sing for them after supper. She would be shy at first, but her sweet young voice always garnered lots of praise, and she enjoyed the attention.

4)What’s something that scared them as child?
Storms always frightened her- the way the sky would grow dark in the day time, the howling wind, and the house shaking thunder. Her nurse would tell her it was just Jupiter showing off his power, but that never gave her much comfort.

5)Who did they look up to most?
  Her mother, who always seemed so put-together and patient, even with her little brother's fiery temper. She also looked up to Milo, even though he's a slave for her family. She admired his kind heart, and how he would be there for her when she needed him, even if it was just to bring her spirits up.

6)Favourite and least favourite childhood foods?
   Porcia has always loved sweets, her favorite being a kind of fried doughnut with orange cream inside.  Her least favorite food was a crushed herb salad, that her mother loved, but she could never stand.

7)If they had their childhood again, would they change anything?
  Sometimes she wishes she would have tried to get along with her brother better, but other then that, no.

8)What kind of child were they? Curious? Wild? Quiet? Devious?
   Porcia was a pretty well behaved child, although she had her moments of willfulness. She was fairly quiet, and spend a lot of time playing alone.

9)What was their relationship to their parents and siblings like?
    Her father was gone quite often, but he always tried to spend time with her when he was home, and would be her gifts from the places he went to. Her mother was busy, but Porcia stayed close with her. And then there's Junius. You've already gotten a glimpse of their relationship. They never got along very well, and he was always messing with her things.

10)What did they want to be when they grew up, and what did they actually become?
   Porcia knew she wouldn't have much choice in the matter, as soon as she was old enough, her father would find someone to marry her. She hoped she could do as good a job as her mother had done. As you know from the Valentine's edition of this linkup, she marries Quintus, and she gets a little taste of having a family and household of her own before the storms come. 

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

If you've read "What Thou Need'st", you'll recognize the above picture as Allan, my mysterious minstrel. I can't take any credit for it, I found it on Pinterest. But it's very cool, don't you agree?

Beautiful People || May || Bethany's Character

Now it's my turn to introduce another character from my WIP "Mithras & Myrrh".  For this round of questions, it took me a bit to decide who to use them on. I could have given either Porcia or Quintus another chance, but I ended up with a side character, Linus, the physician Milo is apprenticing under.

He's become a favorite of mine, with his quirky personality and atypical mentor relationship with Milo, so it will be fun to explore his character more with this month's questions!

Beautiful People || May || Becca's Character

Hello there!

It's time for another beautiful people post.

In March you met Rory Sonders, and this month I'll introduce you Felix Tovar. 

He's also in the story "In The Present Age." 

There are some very interesting questions... quite thought provoking for me, since Felix is rather mysterious.

Here goes!

Beautiful People || March || Becca's Character

Hello there! 

I'm tagging along with Beth this month and doing the Beautiful People link-up. 

The last time I did this was..... wow! Over a year ago, before we went to bible school.

 I haven't been nearly as dedicated to writing as my sister has, but I still have a story and charaters that have been simmering :) Today may be the day to introduce one of them. 

Beautiful People || March || Bethany's Character

Hurray for another set of Beautiful People questions!

Using Go Teen Writers March challenge of writing 300 words a day for 30 days as incentive, I've been pretty productive with writing this past week. And I'm trying something new too. Instead of typing out my first draft where backspace is oh so tempting to use, I'm writing it out by hand. So far so good, the only thing I really miss is having the computer keep track of my word count. But I seem to write about 200 words a page, so I'm going off that for now. :) 

I have my outline in the composition book so I can go to it for reference, and then I decorated the cover of my new 250 page notebook. I wonder if that will be enough pages? Probably not. :) 

My story has grown in leaps and bounds since last month, with characters deepening and plots thickening. Which makes me look back at the February post as rather pathetic, especially concerning Quintus. But oh well, maybe he and Porcia will get better introductions later.

Today, I shall introduce you to Milo, the protagonist.

Beautiful People || Valentine's Edition

I should have guessed that February's Beautiful People would have a Valentine's theme, but when I first saw it, I thought "Crumbs, I won't be able to do it because I don't have any couples in my book." 

Then I thought-

Just because their story isn't the main plot of the book, I do have two characters that get married, and they are a couple I need to work on, so this will be good for me to do.

So, let me introduce you to Quintus and Porcia.

Nothing but the Truth

Oh dear, what delinquent bloggers we've been. And we have such good intentions too. But our time is overtaken by schoolwork and people; very important things, yes, but we haven't forgotten you all. :)

This is one of my presentations for Contemporary Issues class, addressing the subject of truth vs relativism. I just got my grade on it tonight (a 98!), and am excited to share it with you.

note: I'm not very fond of the title, I just had to come up with something quick before turning it in, so if something better comes to your mind while reading it, please share!

Unwanted

This is a short story I wrote as a presentation paper for Contemporary Issues class, on the issue of abortion, and the sanctity of life.

I haven't gotten a grade back on it yet, but our Teacher, Mr. Hornick, said he really liked it!

So I'm sharing it with you, hope you enjoy.

Unwanted

By Rebecca Canaan

Into Thornwood || Chapter Twelve

By Becca

This is the last chapter!

Thank you everyone for your kind and encouraging reception. 

I might do a post with little tidbits and behind the scene things about the story, what do you guys think?

I'm so glad you've enjoyed Into Thornwood and I'd love to share more stories on the blog sometime.

But, enough of that now :)  On to the final chapter!

(Sorry, the indentation is not behaving for me...so, please ignore the strangeness)

Chapter 12

                  Now she will never come back.

                  Lucian opened the gate, intent on chasing them down. In his haste, the automaton missed a step and came crashing onto the stones, breaking apart and clanging all the way down.  Furious, Lucian took his mother’s bible and hurled it through the window. He ran to the opening and saw the wagon drive away, a glint of copper hair. The broken glass cut into the palm of his hand. He couldn’t feel it. 

                  She was your only hope, and you probably killed her. 

                  His lungs filled and a wild scream echoed through all of Thornwood. Far below the automaton lay scattered over the stairs. The fall would break his neck…. and death would be instant. That would be nice. Blood smeared as he ran a hand over his face and then the tears came.

                  He fell to his knees, staring over the forest, weeping. 

                  You loved her, didn’t you?

Into Thornwood || Chapter Eleven

By Becca

Chapter 11

                  “Through the third archway and the second door on the right.” Lucian’s voice came through distorted by the automaton. 

  Cecile reached out and turned the knob. At a squeaky meow she spun around, the cat trotted down the main stairs. 

                  “Well, hello you.” She smiled as it came and rubbed its head against her skirt. Reaching a hand under its chubby body, Cecile gathered the softness into her arms and at once it began to purr.                      

              “What is its name?” 

The cat didn’t flinch as the automaton stretched out and rubbed a metal finger between it’s ears.

 “Her name is Gypsum…she was mother’s.” 

Cecile laid her cheek against Gypsum’s fur and pushed the door open with her foot. She stepped into the imposing room, the automaton right behind her. 

Into Thornwood || Chapter Ten

By Becca

( Disclaimer: This chapter has some violence relating to a death ) 

Chapter Ten

                  Cecile slipped through the door and hurried up the stairs, retracing the steps from last night. The glass greeted her with strong light at the final landing, a view of the forest spread out below. She turned down the hall and paused at the reading nook. Kneeling on the cushions, she put her ear to the wall and heard movement on the other side, then a shuddering breath.

                  “Hello?” She ventured.

                  “Hello, Cecile.” His voice was low and husky, twined with sadness.

The little boy’s face came back to her. How old was he now?

                  “Well, I said I would tell you everything, didn’t I?” He sighed heavily. “I should have done that from the start…this may take awhile.” 

Into Thornwood || Chapter Nine

By Becca

Chapter nine

          Thornwood was far grander than she had imagined. 
          She must have looked like a fool, wandering through each room as if in a dream. If this was her prison, she could not have asked for a more luxurious one. 
          With a smile she opened the French doors to a sea of sunshine. It came pouring in though the rows of tall windows and filled the ballroom with brilliance.  A childish impulse drew her out onto the dance floor. She twirled and danced with an invisible partner to imagined music.  Her skirt unfolded and billowed, fluttering like wings with the movement.
          But then she stopped short, the room still whirling. Caprice’s scolding voice, very clear, came to her mind. “You are acting like a silly little girl. You are far too old for such nonsense and should be conducting yourself with propriety.”
          She would not say that now, would she? 
          After father’s death, Caprice changed. Cecile once hated the way Caprice spoke to her. Now, after these months of silence, she only wished that Caprice would speak.

Into Thornwood || Chapter Eight

By Becca

Chapter Eight

                  Never had she heard such terror. It tore her from sleep and out of bed. It stretched on forever, reaching out, straining, and snapped.  

         Then it came again; another scream. Cecile stood still, the sound of it wrenching through her. Her heart nearly ripped in two. She raced to the curtain, found the knob and threw open the door. It was louder, echoing, spiraling down from the higher stories. The house trembled with the cries, such desperate, miserable cries. She flew to the staircase at the end of the hall, nightgown softy swishing around her legs. She grabbed the rail and climbed.